wheniwasnineyearsoldiwentofftosummercampforthefirsttime.andmymotherpackedmeasuitcasefullofbooks,whichtomeseemedlikeaperfectlynaturalthingtodo.becauseinmyfamily,readingwastheprimarygroupactivity.andthismightsoundantisocialtoyou,butforusitwasreallyjustadifferentwayofbeingsocial.youhavetheanimalwarmthofyourfamilysittingrightne_ttoyou,butyouarealsofreetogoroamingaroundtheadventurelandinsideyourownmind.andihadthisideathatcampwasgoingtobejustlikethis,butbetter.(laughter)ihadavisionof10girlssittinginacabincozilyreadingbooksintheirmatchingnightgowns.
(laughter)
campwasmorelikeakegpartywithoutanyalcohol.andontheveryfirstdayourcounselorgatheredusalltogetherandshetaughtusacheerthatshesaidwewouldbedoingeverydayfortherestofthesummertoinstillcampspirit.anditwentlikethis:"r-o-w-d-i-e,that'sthewaywespellrowdie.rowdie,rowdie,let'sgetrowdie."yeah.soicouldn'tfigureoutforthelifeofmewhyweweresupposedtobesorowdy,orwhywehadtospellthiswordincorrectly.(laughter)butirecitedacheer.irecitedacheeralongwitheverybodyelse.ididmybest.andijustwaitedforthetimethaticouldgooffandreadmybooks.
butthefirsttimethatitookmybookoutofmysuitcase,thecoolestgirlinthebunkcameuptomeandsheaskedme,"whyareyoubeingsomellow?"--mellow,ofcourse,beingthee_actoppositeofr-o-w-d-i-e.andthenthesecondtimeitriedit,thecounselorcameuptomewithaconcernede_pressiononherfaceandsherepeatedthepointaboutcampspiritandsaidweshouldallworkveryhardtobeoutgoing.
andsoiputmybooksaway,backintheirsuitcase,andiputthemundermybed,andtheretheystayedfortherestofthesummer.andifeltkindofguiltyaboutthis.ifeltasifthebooksneededmesomehow,andtheywerecallingouttomeandiwasforsakingthem.butididforsakethemandididn'topenthatsuitcaseagainuntiliwasbackhomewithmyfamilyattheendofthesummer.
now,itellyouthisstoryaboutsummercamp.icouldhavetoldyou50othersjustlikeit--allthetimesthatigotthemessagethatsomehowmyquietandintrovertedstyleofbeingwasnotnecessarilytherightwaytogo,thatishouldbetryingtopassasmoreofane_trovert.andialwayssenseddeepdownthatthiswaswrongandthatintrovertswereprettye_cellentjustastheywere.butforyearsideniedthisintuition,andsoibecameawallstreetlawyer,ofallthings,insteadofthewriterthatihadalwayslongedtobe--partlybecauseineededtoprovetomyselfthaticouldbeboldandassertivetoo.andiwasalwaysgoingofftocrowdedbarswhenireallywouldhavepreferredtojusthaveanicedinnerwithfriends.andimadetheseself-negatingchoicessorefle_ively,thatiwasn'tevenawarethatiwasmakingthem.
nowthisiswhatmanyintrovertsdo,andit'sourlossforsure,butitisalsoourcolleagues'lossandourcommunities'loss.andattheriskofsoundinggrandiose,itistheworld'sloss.becausewhenitcomestocreativityandtoleadership,weneedintrovertsdoingwhattheydobest.athirdtoahalfofthepopulationareintroverts--athirdtoahalf.sothat'soneoutofeverytwoorthreepeopleyouknow.soevenifyou'reane_trovertyourself,i'mtalkingaboutyourcoworkersandyourspousesandyourchildrenandthepersonsittingne_ttoyourightnow--allofthemsubjecttothisbiasthatisprettydeepandrealinoursociety.weallinternalizeitfromaveryearlyagewithoutevenhavingalanguageforwhatwe'redoing.
nowtoseethebiasclearlyyouneedtounderstandwhatintroversionis.it'sdifferentfrombeingshy.shynessisaboutfearofsocialjudgment.introversionismoreabout,howdoyourespondtostimulation,includingsocialstimulation.soe_trovertsreallycravelargeamountsofstimulation,whereasintrovertsfeelattheirmostaliveandtheirmostswitched-onandtheirmostcapablewhenthey'reinquieter,morelow-keyenvironments.notallthetime--thesethingsaren'tabsolute--butalotofthetime.sothekeythentoma_imizingourtalentsisforusalltoputourselvesinthezoneofstimulationthatisrightforus.
butnowhere'swherethebiascomesin.ourmostimportantinstitutions,ourschoolsandourworkplaces,theyaredesignedmostlyfore_trovertsandfore_troverts'needforlotsofstimulation.andalsowehavethisbeliefsystemrightnowthaticallthenewgroupthink,whichholdsthatallcreativityandallproductivitycomesfromaveryoddlygregariousplace.
soifyoupicturethetypicalclassroomnowadays:wheniwasgoingtoschool,wesatinrows.wesatinrowsofdeskslikethis,andwedidmostofourworkprettyautonomously.butnowadays,yourtypicalclassroomhaspodsofdesks--fourorfiveorsi_orsevenkidsallfacingeachother.andkidsareworkingincountlessgroupassignments.eveninsubjectslikemathandcreativewriting,whichyouthinkwoulddependonsoloflightsofthought,kidsarenowe_pectedtoactascommitteemembers.andforthekidswhoprefertogooffbythemselvesorjusttoworkalone,thosekidsareseenasoutliersoftenor,worse,asproblemcases.andthevastmajorityofteachersreportsbelievingthattheidealstudentisane_trovertasopposedtoanintrovert,eventhoughintrovertsactuallygetbettergradesandaremoreknowledgeable,accordingtoresearch.(laughter)
okay,samethingistrueinourworkplaces.now,mostofusworkinopenplanoffices,withoutwalls,wherewearesubjecttotheconstantnoiseandgazeofourcoworkers.andwhenitcomestoleadership,introvertsareroutinelypassedoverforleadershippositions,eventhoughintrovertstendtobeverycareful,muchlesslikelytotakeoutsizerisks--whichissomethingwemightallfavornowadays.andinterestingresearchbyadamgrantatthewhartonschoolhasfoundthatintrovertedleadersoftendeliverbetteroutcomesthane_trovertsdo,becausewhentheyaremanagingproactiveemployees,they'remuchmorelikelytoletthoseemployeesrunwiththeirideas,whereasane_trovertcan,quiteunwittingly,getsoe_citedaboutthingsthatthey'reputtingtheirownstamponthings,andotherpeople'sideasmightnotaseasilythenbubbleuptothesurface.
nowinfact,someofourtransformativeleadersinhistoryhavebeenintroverts.i'llgiveyousomee_amples.eleanorroosevelt,rosaparks,gandhi--allthesepeopleddescribedthemselvesasquietandsoft-spokenandevenshy.andtheyalltookthespotlight,eventhougheveryboneintheirbodieswastellingthemnotto.andthisturnsouttohaveaspecialpowerallitsown,becausepeoplecouldfeelthattheseleaderswereatthehelm,notbecausetheyenjoyeddirectingothersandnotoutofthepleasureofbeinglookedat;theyweretherebecausetheyhadnochoice,becausetheyweredriventodowhattheythoughtwasright.
nowithinkatthispointit'simportantformetosaythatiactuallylovee_troverts.ialwaysliketosaysomeofmybestfriendsaree_troverts,includingmybelovedhusband.andweallfallatdifferentpoints,ofcourse,alongtheintrovert/e_trovertspectrum.evencarljung,thepsychologistwhofirstpopularizedtheseterms,saidthatthere'snosuchthingasapureintrovertorapuree_trovert.hesaidthatsuchamanwouldbeinalunaticasylum,ifhee_istedatall.andsomepeoplefallsmackinthemiddleoftheintrovert/e_trovertspectrum,andwecallthesepeopleambiverts.andioftenthinkthattheyhavethebestofallworlds.butmanyofusdorecognizeourselvesasonetypeortheother.
andwhati'msayingisthatculturallyweneedamuchbetterbalance.weneedmoreofayinandyangbetweenthesetwotypes.thisisespeciallyimportantwhenitcomestocreativityandtoproductivity,becausewhenpsychologistslookatthelivesofthemostcreativepeople,whattheyfindarepeoplewhoareverygoodate_changingideasandadvancingideas,butwhoalsohaveaseriousstreakofintroversioninthem.
andthisisbecausesolitudeisacrucialingredientoftentocreativity.sodarwin,hetooklongwalksaloneinthewoodsandemphaticallyturneddowndinnerpartyinvitations.theodorgeisel,betterknownasdr.seuss,hedreamedupmanyofhisamazingcreationsinalonelybelltowerofficethathehadinthebackofhishouseinlajolla,california.andhewasactuallyafraidtomeettheyoungchildrenwhoreadhisbooksforfearthattheyweree_pectinghimthiskindofjollysantaclaus-likefigureandwouldbedisappointedwithhismorereservedpersona.stevewozniakinventedthefirstapplecomputersittingaloneinhiscubicalinhewlett-packardwherehewasworkingatthetime.andhesaysthatheneverwouldhavebecomesuchane_pertinthefirstplacehadhenotbeentoointrovertedtoleavethehousewhenhewasgrowingup.
nowofcourse,thisdoesnotmeanthatweshouldallstopcollaborating--andcaseinpoint,isstevewozniakfamouslycomingtogetherwithstevejobstostartapplecomputer--butitdoesmeanthatsolitudemattersandthatforsomepeopleitistheairthattheybreathe.andinfact,wehaveknownforcenturiesaboutthetranscendentpowerofsolitude.it'sonlyrecentlythatwe'vestrangelybeguntoforgetit.ifyoulookatmostoftheworld'smajorreligions,youwillfindseekers--moses,jesus,buddha,muhammad--seekerswhoaregoingoffbythemselvesalonetothewildernesswheretheythenhaveprofoundepiphaniesandrevelationsthattheythenbringbacktotherestofthecommunity.sonowilderness,norevelations.
thisisnosurprisethoughifyoulookattheinsightsofcontemporarypsychology.itturnsoutthatwecan'tevenbeinagroupofpeoplewithoutinstinctivelymirroring,mimickingtheiropinions.evenaboutseeminglypersonalandvisceralthingslikewhoyou'reattractedto,youwillstartapingthebeliefsofthepeoplearoundyouwithoutevenrealizingthatthat'swhatyou'redoing.
andgroupsfamouslyfollowtheopinionsofthemostdominantorcharismaticpersonintheroom,eventhoughthere'szerocorrelationbetweenbeingthebesttalkerandhavingthebestideas--imeanzero.so...(laughter)youmightbefollowingthepersonwiththebestideas,butyoumightnot.anddoyoureallywanttoleaveituptochance?muchbetterforeverybodytogooffbythemselves,generatetheirownideasfreedfromthedistortionsofgroupdynamics,andthencometogetherasateamtotalkthemthroughinawell-managedenvironmentandtakeitfromthere.
nowifallthisistrue,thenwhyarewegettingitsowrong?whyarewesettingupourschoolsthiswayandourworkplaces?andwhyarewemakingtheseintrovertsfeelsoguiltyaboutwantingtojustgooffbythemselvessomeofthetime?oneanswerliesdeepinourculturalhistory.westernsocieties,andinparticulartheu.s.,havealwaysfavoredthemanofactionoverthemanofcontemplationand"man"ofcontemplation.butinamerica'searlydays,welivedinwhathistorianscallacultureofcharacter,wherewestill,atthatpoint,valuedpeoplefortheirinnerselvesandtheirmoralrectitude.andifyoulookattheself-helpbooksfromthisera,theyallhadtitleswiththingslike"character,thegrandestthingintheworld."andtheyfeaturedrolemodelslikeabrahamlincolnwhowaspraisedforbeingmodestandunassuming.ralphwaldoemersoncalledhim"amanwhodoesnotoffendbysuperiority."
butthenwehitthe20thcenturyandweenteredanewculturethathistorianscallthecultureofpersonality.whathappenediswehadevolvedanagriculturaleconomytoaworldofbigbusiness.andsosuddenlypeoplearemovingfromsmalltownstothecities.andinsteadofworkingalongsidepeoplethey'veknownalltheirlives,nowtheyarehavingtoprovethemselvesinacrowdofstrangers.so,quiteunderstandably,qualitieslikemagnetismandcharismasuddenlycometoseemreallyimportant.andsureenough,theself-helpbookschangetomeetthesenewneedsandtheystarttohavenameslike"howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople."andtheyfeatureastheirrolemodelsreallygreatsalesmen.sothat'stheworldwe'relivingintoday.that'sourculturalinheritance.
nownoneofthisistosaythatsocialskillsareunimportant,andi'malsonotcallingfortheabolishingofteamworkatall.thesamereligionswhosendtheirsagesofftolonelymountaintopsalsoteachusloveandtrust.andtheproblemsthatwearefacingtodayinfieldslikescienceandineconomicsaresovastandsocomple_thatwearegoingtoneedarmiesofpeoplecomingtogethertosolvethemworkingtogether.butiamsayingthatthemorefreedomthatwegiveintrovertstobethemselves,themorelikelythattheyaretocomeupwiththeirownuniquesolutionstotheseproblems.
sonowi'dliketosharewithyouwhat'sinmysuitcasetoday.guesswhat?books.ihaveasuitcasefullofbooks.here'smargaretatwood,"cat'seye."here'sanovelbymilankundera.andhere's"theguidefortheperple_ed"bymaimonides.butthesearenote_actlymybooks.ibroughtthesebookswithmebecausetheywerewrittenbymygrandfather'sfavoriteauthors.
mygrandfatherwasarabbiandhewasawidowerwholivedaloneinasmallapartmentinbrooklynthatwasmyfavoriteplaceintheworldwheniwasgrowingup,partlybecauseitwasfilledwithhisverygentle,verycourtlypresenceandpartlybecauseitwasfilledwithbooks.imeanliterallyeverytable,everychairinthisapartmenthadyieldeditsoriginalfunctiontonowserveasasurfaceforswayingstacksofbooks.justliketherestofmyfamily,mygrandfather'sfavoritethingtodointhewholeworldwastoread.
buthealsolovedhiscongregation,andyoucouldfeelthisloveinthesermonsthathegaveeveryweekforthe62yearsthathewasarabbi.hewouldtakesthefruitsofeachweek'sreadingandhewouldweavetheseintricatetapestriesofancientandhumanistthought.andpeoplewouldcomefromallovertohearhimspeak.
buthere'sthethingaboutmygrandfather.underneaththisceremonialrole,hewasreallymodestandreallyintroverted--somuchsothatwhenhedeliveredthesesermons,hehadtroublemakingeyecontactwiththeverysamecongregationthathehadbeenspeakingtofor62years.andevenawayfromthepodium,whenyoucalledhimtosayhello,hewouldoftenendtheconversationprematurelyforfearthathewastakinguptoomuchofyourtime.butwhenhediedattheageof94,thepolicehadtoclosedownthestreetsofhisneighborhoodtoaccommodatethecrowdofpeoplewhocameouttomournhim.andsothesedaysitrytolearnfrommygrandfather'se_ampleinmyownway.
soijustpublishedabookaboutintroversion,andittookmeaboutsevenyearstowrite.andforme,thatsevenyearswasliketotalbliss,becauseiwasreading,iwaswriting,iwasthinking,iwasresearching.itwasmyversionofmygrandfather'shoursofthedayaloneinhislibrary.butnowallofasuddenmyjobisverydifferent,andmyjobistobeoutheretalkingaboutit,talkingaboutintroversion.(laughter)andthat'salotharderforme,becauseashonoredasiamtobeherewithallofyourightnow,thisisnotmynaturalmilieu.
soipreparedformomentsliketheseasbesticould.ispentthelastyearpracticingpublicspeakingeverychanceicouldget.andicallthismy"yearofspeakingdangerously."(laughter)andthatactuallyhelpedalot.buti'lltellyou,whathelpsevenmoreismysense,mybelief,myhopethatwhenitcomestoourattitudestointroversionandtoquietandtosolitude,wetrulyarepoisedonthebrinkondramaticchange.imean,weare.andsoiamgoingtoleaveyounowwiththreecallsforactionforthosewhosharethisvision.
numberone:stopthemadnessforconstantgroupwork.juststopit.(laughter)thankyou.(applause)andiwanttobeclearaboutwhati'msaying,becauseideeplybelieveourofficesshouldbeencouragingcasual,chattycafe-styletypesofinteractions--youknow,thekindwherepeoplecometogetherandserendipitouslyhaveane_changeofideas.thatisgreat.it'sgreatforintrovertsandit'sgreatfore_troverts.butweneedmuchmoreprivacyandmuchmorefreedomandmuchmoreautonomyatwork.school,samething.weneedtobeteachingkidstoworktogether,forsure,butwealsoneedtobeteachingthemhowtoworkontheirown.thisisespeciallyimportantfore_trovertedchildrentoo.theyneedtoworkontheirownbecausethatiswheredeepthoughtcomesfrominpart.
okay,numbertwo:gotothewilderness.belikebuddha,haveyourownrevelations.i'mnotsayingthatweallhavetonowgooffandbuildourowncabinsinthewoodsandnevertalktoeachotheragain,butiamsayingthatwecouldallstandtounplugandgetinsideourownheadsalittlemoreoften.
numberthree:takeagoodlookatwhat'sinsideyourownsuitcaseandwhyyouputitthere.soe_troverts,maybeyoursuitcasesarealsofullofbooks.ormaybethey'refullofchampagneglassesorskydivingequipment.whateveritis,ihopeyoutakethesethingsouteverychanceyougetandgraceuswithyourenergyandyourjoy.butintroverts,youbeingyou,youprobablyhavetheimpulsetoguardverycarefullywhat'sinsideyourownsuitcase.andthat'sokay.butoccasionally,justoccasionally,ihopeyouwillopenupyoursuitcasesforotherpeopletosee,becausetheworldneedsyouanditneedsthethingsyoucarry.
soiwishyouthebestofallpossiblejourneysandthecouragetospeaksoftly.
thankyouverymuch.
(applause)
thankyou.thankyou.