To:Jacob~From:Meg
DearJacob,
I'vefoundthatmanypeopletendtonotspeakupwhensomethingbothersthem,thinkingthatitistrivialtomentionit.Unfortunately,whathappensisafterrepeatedtimesofnotspeakingup,somesmalloccurrencehappensanditendsupbeingthestrawthatbrokethecamel'sback.Theotherpartner,moreoftenthannot,hasnocluewhattheyareupsetaboutandthereforethinktheyareover-reacting.
Ifeellikethisisthestoryofourrelationship.Ihatearguingwithyou;Ihatehearingthatpain-filledtoneofyourvoice,orfeelingyourcoldshoulderwhenIbrushpastjusttogetahintofyourscent.I'mnotnaturallyanangryperson;youknowthatfromwhenyoufirstmetme.Ihavesomanybadmemories,somanymomentsthatIholdmyselfinbecausetheyseemtobeallthatisleftofme.IfeellikeaghostcreatedfromtornwebsofmypastandIhavebroughtallthatintoarelationship,thinkingthatpastproblemswon'tmeltoverintopresentdilemmas.I'vebeenlivingalie.
Ourargumentwascausedfromsomanythings.Myinsecurities,mylackofself-worth,theselfishwanttobetheonlyonethatmakesyousmileandtossasparkleacrossyoureye.Iknowthattheblameismostlymine.Yourfriendsareyourfamily,muchlikemymotherismyfamily.IdefendthethingsshesaysanddoesoutofloveandIknowyoudomuchofthesameforthem.
I'msorryfornottakingthetimetobepatientwithyou,tositandlistenandunderstandthewayyoufeel.IknowthatIwillneverknowthethingstheysharewithyouandyousharewiththemandthereforeyourrelationshipwiththemisofadifferentimportancethanyoursandmine.WhenyousayIamwronginamatterthatconcernsyourfriends,yourfamily,thenmostlikelyIam...I'msorryforhurtingyouandbeatingyoudownsooften.IfanyoneshowsalackofrespectinthisrelationshipthenIsupposeitismewhoistoblame.
Ifeellikeyoudon'twanttobenearme,